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Friday, March 14th, 2008
6:31 pm - gurgle
Lately, when Blublu sits on my shoulders, I can often hear her digestion.  I had never really heard noises from her gut before, so I began to be a bit concerned.  I called the vet and described the noises.  The woman at the desk told me that as long as she is not lethargic, vomiting or having diarrhea, there is no cause for concern.  What a relief. 

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Friday, February 29th, 2008
3:34 pm - The Tragedy of Christmas Cards
What follows is a discussion between The Baron and me as he helped me to decode one of the Christmas letters from France:

Me:  Do you think he cheats on her?
The Baron:  (reluctantly) Yes.
Me:  But she probably doesn't care.
The Baron:  Oh, I think she cares, she mentions it three times.

Of course this mentioning occurred in the jokey way I have often witnessed in the Christmas letter where the woman (it is usually a woman who writes them) mourns her husbands workaholism, failure to participate, philandering, infertility, hyper-fertility, etc. in the guise of telling what is going on with the family.  My mother was saying that she hates these newsletters, but I love them.  I suspect I love them in a sick way that you can love things for what is written between the lines and also find them somewhat tragic.

When I worked as a servant on the peninsula, I once found a file of old Christmas letters among folders that my employer has asked me to sort.  Of course, I read them, and I couldn't believe she kept all the ones where her mother ragged on her for always being the undecided, difficult child.  Then again, maybe my employer kept them because she considered them compliments.


(Considering how little I post, it seems appropriate to write an entry on a day that only comes around every four years.) 

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Friday, November 2nd, 2007
3:18 pm - check
It's day of the dead
shave your head!

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Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007
3:03 pm - Pimp Daddy
At 5AM Blue's purring roused The Baron and he said to me, "Oh, I see, you have your trophy cat." He told me I was the pimp daddy who had special rings on my fingers and when I put my knuckles together, it spelled out BlueBlue. Then he switched into French and scolded the cat for tickling him with her tail. A little while later he ordered a tarte flambée.

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11:32 am - Stages
We didn't go to Mom-Baby yoga today because when we arrived at the car, the car seat and all its trimmings had disappeared. Having trained my brain to object permanence for so many years, I was rather shocked and just kept looking around everywhere to see if maybe someone had dumped it nearby. Or to see if it had just hopped away and was hiding. To no avail. I was very disappointed because I was looking forward to Mom-Baby yoga. But at least whoever took the seat didn't break my windows to get into the car.

Back at the house, Audren woke up from his nap after 10 minutes. I put him in a summer outfit that is a grey striped pair of shorts and shirt (and matching socks, of course) and because he wasn't wearing a onesie when I nursed him to sleep for the second time we were muffin top to muffin top when he drowsed off.

The Baron has said he will buy Audren a big boy carseat today, but I have to choose it. My usual indecisiveness is not going to be helped at all by missing yoga. The Baron is smart though, he knows if he picks it I won't like it. Maybe it would be better to wait until we are together, usually we choose better together than on our own.

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Monday, October 22nd, 2007
2:56 pm - Funniest Cat in the World
Audren is cracking up watching the cat. She doesn't even have to do anything special except sit in front of the refrigerator. The other day, he lost his mind watching her chase a sisal mouse, but a mere few days later, her humor quotient has risen such that she can remain absolutely still.

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Wednesday, October 17th, 2007
2:24 pm - Friends?
The Baron broke up with the baby this morning. Audren, giggling and smiling, was amusing himself with Monkey Island on the living room rug. The Baron, freshly washed and pressed, appearance belying his lack of sleep, said to his son, "It's not going to work out."

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Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
1:55 pm - Top explanations for Audren's blue hand
1. That's how he was returned from City Baby Share.
2. Blublu and I were trying to turn him into a smurf but lost interest.
3. Arts & Crafts casualty.

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Saturday, June 2nd, 2007
3:06 pm - birds & bees
I just touched my bromeliad in a sexual way. It just seemed so replete with desire, it seemed like the moral thing to do. I am not sure how all this pollination thing works, but I guess that's how one becomes a parent.

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Wednesday, May 30th, 2007
12:08 pm - the old self
coffee is beginning to taste good again.

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Tuesday, May 1st, 2007
1:55 pm - resewn
But not with silk stitching, this time. Let's hope that as with the epidural, the second time's a charm.

Not that this was anywhere near as bad as the original! A recovery period as brief as two weeks is indicated.

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Friday, March 16th, 2007
11:05 am - it wasn't too awful
I resisted these last 2 weeks, but lots of people told me it would make me feel better, so I finally overcame my natural aversion to water and pain and took a bath in chamomile flowers. I felt like Ophelia with the water and foliage swish swishing over my limbs, but I didn't drown after all and I do feel better, but lord knows maybe that is due to all the over-the-counter and prescription medication or to the fact that I don't feel like a bad mom since I bathed the little Pisces first before trying to understand the ways of fish in an homage to him and his people.

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Friday, March 9th, 2007
6:27 pm - association
At many odd moments, breastfeeding recalls me to Shakespeare--the earthy parts, Juliette's nurse, tetchy in the crib, etc.

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Monday, February 26th, 2007
8:11 pm
God knows why I keep forgetting to mention that The Baron called Blublu a gourmand.

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Friday, February 23rd, 2007
11:30 am - une brossage
Hummingbirds and tabbies gather round the garden to witness the royal grooming. Chipping commentary in the reflection of an elliptical green eye. On sun and wood the comb and skim slice the outermost layer of silken down. The subject stretches into every stroke, eyes heavy-lidded. The fur of one born of butter lettuce leaf is pure vanilla powder.

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Thursday, February 8th, 2007
2:18 pm - origins of the species
The other day The Baron informed me that Blue was born from a butter lettuce. Of course we never saw her, even as a kitten, but it seems right. He was born from choucroute (Alsacian sauerkraut), and I am on the endangered species list. He informed me of this when we were in New York in late October. Whenever I ask him, "And I am endangered, right?" He always confirms. For some reason, this doesn't make me feel menaced, but instead, wildly happy.

I have an upholstered block of wood for a torso, but I am hoping this is temporary.

The Baron is working from home today and this morning, he threatened to go into the lab upstairs where he works and give everyone a week of instruction. I want to go! Not only would it be a learning experience (I never did learn rudimentary laboratory procedure), I want to see his squirelly bustle, unsparing use of the index finger, and acorn husbandry.

He's a little ticked off at me, what he calls my irrationality. I stand by my position that just because the cat litter bag says "flushable" doesn't mean it's so. He wants to prove everything to me and it always involves heavy-petting of the toilet and tank, and I can't bear to watch it because it all just seems so filthy and the proof is lost on me because the only things I can concentrate on when being shown all this evidence are containment and a desperate plea for him to wash his hands. I cannot wait until I am in charge of the cat box again, but I am not sure our toilet will survive until then, even though my due date fast approaches.

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Friday, February 2nd, 2007
9:52 am - Clip
Since I officiated at your wedding, both Bob and Roger have asked me if I am to be the mohel, but I told them in no uncertain terms that as a gay man the concept was repugnant to me on both moral and aesthetic grounds!

~SCS

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Friday, January 26th, 2007
11:25 am - A report from Mum's workplace
Hi Deery!
The temperature sure is falling-between 0 and 10 by tomorrow morning. How are you? Everything here is just as it has been and school is downright seedy. Went into the bathrooms (kids) and believe me the ACI [the local prison] has nothing on Flynn. Two stalls don't even have doors! So, of course the kids stuff up the bowls and water trickles across the floors and the custodian, Al, swears at all of us. No mirrors cause kids might break them--solution?-funny house mirrors that don't break. Our toilets win no prizes either. The other day while hovering over the bowl, I managed to see under the pipe and believe me, the fossilized crud would require a blowtorch in order to be removed. Moving along, on any given day, you could find your mother, broom in hand after I have swept the stairs. Littered stairwells are no way to begin a child's day. Yesterday, Dawn and I decided to inspect the basement under the stage after we smelled this moldy odor upon entering the auditorium. No word of a lie--the door and walls leading down to this basement, formerly a fallout shelter, were dripping with condensed water from a leaky steam pipe below. We attempted to descend the circular metal stairs but the fog and steam were so dense that our clothes were getting wet. Oh well, just one more public facility choking to death. We actually went to find Al, a carpenter by talent and a Deadhead, to inform him before we called the private firm responsible. Wouldn't want him to begin swearing thinking we've blamed him. The company was called and may actually do something before one half of the building freezes or explodes. Al actually is an interesting guy-loves Dawn and thinks I should be principal. This is report card week and I see great growth in Al's verbal ability. Whereupon first meeting this custodian, I truly believed that his limited vocabulary was his only vocabulary. What a challenge! To be limited to just three words. Whether pushing broom or wheeling can-FUCK THIS SCHOOL! over and over again. But now, years later, Al shows significant gains in both speech and behavior. Having gotten several bad boys to empty garbage cans and lessen his load, Al has clearly enunciated his total demoralization and disgust with the system, his hourly wage, and his "medicine". "I hate this fuckin place, no one cares." Al has earned a strong B for coming out of his shell. Alas though, his cumulative grade in is the toilet due to a bad dye job.

Kisses to the cupcakes!
SRG

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Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
1:48 pm
My new lovehandles are like an extremity, cold even when the rest of me is warm.

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Wednesday, October 4th, 2006
9:40 am - Something from this weekend
"Our child will enjoy bread and good, stinking cheese, none of that peanut and jelly butter."

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